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Line between confidence and over-confidence.
Online Desk |:| Fri, 31 Jul'2015, 6:55 PM |:| Online Version
Line between confidence and over-confidence.
Times Of Dhaka : Confidence is necessary for attaining our goal and for performing our regular duties properly. But what will happen if you are an over-confident guy? Here is a write up about it from ‘Times of India’, a popular daily in India. Perhaps it will help you to draw a line between confidence and over-confidence.
All of us have encountered over-confident people at some point or the other — whether it's a relative, friend, colleague, boss or even an acquaintance. Such individuals are constantly bragging about their knowledge, achievements and their ambitious plans for the future.

They tend to overshadow others around them. Does this sound like you? If yes, then you seem to be brimming with over-confidence. Though over-confidence may seem to be a positive thing, it can have undesirable repercussions.

There is a thin line which separates confidence from over-confidence. Clinical psychologist Varkha Chulani says, "Over-confidence is a kind of arrogance where one believes that he/she is better than others. Here, the person believes that he/she, as a human being, is superior. So, he/she often has a condescending, disdainful attitude towards people and looks down on them."

Psychologist Chandni Mehta says that this trait of over-confident behaviour is more common amongst men than women, especially successful businessmen. Where women are concerned, the highly-ambitious, career-driven and very good-looking women tend to be over confident. Such people are generally loud and flamboyant about expressing their opinions on say a topic like cricket or stock markets.

They might not have the accurate information on such topics but they will confidently express their opinions on the same. They also tend to mock and contradict other's opinions.

There are various factors that cause over-confidence to creep into people's psyche. Psychiatrist Dr Anjali Chhabria says, "Affluence, higher education, higher positions of parents or natural personality make people over-confident. Our own abilities and a high success rate triggers over-confidence in general. Narcissistic personality types have been found to be more over-confident." She says that some individuals actually have a low self-esteem and just to prove themselves and increase their self-worth, they tend to be over-confident. They end up taking more tasks than they can handle but in reality, they may not be sure about themselves.

Mehta says that sometimes individuals who have achieved success take on an air of superiority. They gauge their self-worth based on their achievements. Also, the upbringing of a person can lead them to becoming an over-confident individual — especially when their parents never criticised them as children or praised them excessively.

Since people who are over-confident by nature see themselves as know-it-alls, they are generally not liked by many people. Chulani says that an air of arrogance and superficial confidence envelopes them. They are often difficult in their interpersonal encounters and find it hard to get along with people. Their ego is easily punctured and they feel slighted easily. On the one hand they project superiority but actually, they are fragile and vulnerable.

Professionally, she says that such persons think they are special. So they slip into a comfort zone and don't believe that they need to brush up their skills or knowledge. To that extent, they fall short of being up with their work and may thus, suffer set backs. Also, since they are difficult people to get along with, they get alienated by their colleagues and may have poor professional interaction with them.

Mehta says that individuals who are over-confident are full of themselves and constantly express their opinions on topics like fashion, politics, sports and even weather. They don't care about others' opinions, especially of those who are their subordinates, and those who they think are inferior to them. As for relationships, they are the more dominant person.

Being full of oneself is not a desirable trait and this tends to affect their relationships with their family, friends, colleagues and even acquaintances. And since this behaviour has its own set of repercussions, it needs to be checked. Chulani suggests one must realise that titles, jobs, marks, money do not define a person. Likewise, inabilities, deficiencies, setbacks, do not devilify a person. As long as you are you, you will always remain human — not superior or inferior. Rate your abilities and achievements but do not rate yourself as a person, based on these.

Most of the time, over-confident people are not aware of their behaviour. Therefore, the family and friends of such individuals need to make them aware of it. Here are some more tips:

- Acknowledge that each individual has their own respective skills and qualities. One should not think that they are the only ones who know and do everything right.

- Don't take things for granted, even if you have had a high success rate in business or personal decisions.

- Be flexible and open to learning. No individual can possibly know everything about anything.

- Be practical and realistic about your goals and dreams.

- Accept your weaknesses. Yes, even you can make a mistake. Just because you are good at one thing, it does not make you good at everything else.

- Appreciate others for their abilities — one may be better than you at certain situations and work methods. Know that the efficiency of the situation is vital.

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